All Things Work Together for Good

And we know that in all things
God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28 (NIV)

She was working in the kitchen, scraping a plate clean over the trash can when she began to cry. The grief was overwhelming. I tried to comfort her, "Honey, what's wrong?" Through her tears she replied, "They threw my baby in the trash!" What was done was done. We had gone to the hospital, concerned about the pregnancy. We saw the baby for the first time on the ultrasound, but it was already dead. They did a DNC and sent us home. It had been two weeks already, and there she was grieving in the kitchen.

Somethings just don't make any sense. How did anything good come out of this? Maybe we would never know. We certainly experienced all the emotions of grief, including anger. Where was God when we needed Him? Why did our baby die? I didn't have any answers.

Time elapsed and we coped, but there was a deep and lasting change. People tried to comfort, "Count your blessings; you already have five children." Still I thought that if we could have another child, perhaps there would be healing. However, the next pregnancy was the same. The nightmare continued. This time we apparently lost twins. The only thing different was that we didn't go to the hospital. There would be no babies in the trash this time. I prepared a small wooden box for their remains, and we had a private family funeral service under an apple tree on here on the farm.

The questions and doubts continued. We just didn't understand! How could anything good come from all of this? I certainly didn't know and felt so powerless to help.

Finally, God did give us the gift of Jeffrey, who had his 9th birthday yesterday. He is such a blessing, and God has brought much healing. The joy of watching him grow has redirected our focus.

Still, after all these years, I can say that one thing has come from our grief. Because of it, we have more compassion for others who suffer. Certainly we tried to be compassionate before, but I must say that I really didn't understand their suffering. That's different today. Having walked through the loss of our children in two miscarriages, and burying my mother almost three years ago, I have come to know how grief feels. Through our grief we have learned to weep with those who weep. Paul wrote in Romans 12:15 (NIV).

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Grandma Cochran, who lived to be 97, once said, "The longer you live, the sadder life is." I am glad for the comfort of God's word in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (NIV).

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those
who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men,
who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died
and rose again and so we believe that God will bring
with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
According to the Lord's own word, we tell you
that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming
of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who
have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down
from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice
of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God,
and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that,
we who are still alive and are left will be caught up
together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord
in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
Therefore encourage each other with these words.

If you are struggling today, I want you to know that God is faithful and He will hear your cry. He has seen your tears, and yes, He has felt your grief. He understands. May He fill you with hope. May the God of all comfort bless you today.